The Silvered Darkness


She checked her phone. No private messages. Not a single one. “Yep. Just goes to show, this online app thing? So not a thing.” She tossed her phone on her bed and sprawled her body across the down comforter.

You see, she had given in. Into her darkness that is. Listened to the inner whispers and the online whispers. Assurances made. Now she questions it all. She was only a couple of months past turning that “silver” age. Ugh. Not a pleasant thing since she didn’t feel “silver” or bronze or anything but sensual and sexual and young at heart. Yes, she had issues. Scary issues. Bipolar, anxiety, and hypersexuality that only one with a matching dark side could equal. But, was that possible? She was doubting it. You would think the older you got the less the darkness would come out to play anyway, right?

Finding a dark friend, secret lover, cougar’s companion? That was the experiment. A new one to her, yet not so much as her imagination had always envisioned this. She had read about it, seen it, and even written it. Now it was time to see it fulfilled. At least, so she thought. Because you see, even though she was not looking for a relationship, she was looking for an arrangement. An understanding of sorts that consisted of a mutual sexual satisfaction and friendship with someone younger. Sort of “50 Shades of Grey’s Mrs. Robinson” but with an equally dominant Mr. Grey.

Ugh. Was the infatuation disquieted by truth? Could it actually be as good or fulfilling as fantasy uttered anyway? No, she doubted it, that’s why they were called fantasies. They were only words, right? And words only went so far. Especially scattered here and there, disconnected. Without substance. Yep, the darkness was subsiding. Taking its place in the recess of her mind. Bored out of its skull and wrapping itself into her cocoon to await salvation. But would it come?

Obviously time for a distraction and a much needed jaunt to the real world. Her darkness was all cuddled away in its little corner of her head, gate latched, lights off, manacles fastened. Probably no need for all the added security now because she was locked in her own reverie and not coming out. Well, good. She pushed herself off her enviably comfortable bed and slid down its massive height until her feet hit the floor. Let’s just do this.

It was nearing early evening and since she wasn’t sure where her trek might take her and since she was feeling unconventional she pulled a brand new black and silver steampunked corset from her drawer, black tight jeans and black floor length lightweight cardigan and put them on. She finished it off with tight mid-calf low heeled boots. Properly iced with light waves in her hair and perfect make-up, for once. She smiled at her reflection and nodded. Yep, even her darkness would be satisfied with this. After all, age was just a number, not a size or style, right? And in this get-up who would think 50? At least she hoped not. Age was a sneaky thing.

Under the clothes were marks of a life well-lived up to a point. Stretch marks, curves, scars… all well-earned and yet all a reminder that she wasn’t exactly young any more. The past ten years were a blur. Forty – fifty went by all too quickly and squandering it seemed to be an inevitability. The darkness had developed a strength during that time. At times just taking over in an attempt to escape reality. She had fought it. She had fought it well until recently and had given in. It really wanted to play. It craved appeasement. Well she decide that it was too strong and being the type to always be in control it was an unacceptable attribute. So she put it away. Her darkness pouted at the thought and then went back to its reverie. The darkness was resigned. Or so she assumed.

She grabbed her keys from the hook by the door and sauntered out on a quest. Just to leave her domain and get out was an achievement in itself and she was a little encouraged by her daring. Her darkness just sighed and shook its head. What was the point, really? If you can’t release it, then why bother?

Behind the wheel she started up her car and then wondered. “Where the hell am I going?” What the hell, the mall was close. She pulled from the lot and headed towards the retail atrocity. Shopping was not her thing. Her online stores were ample and cost effective and she didn’t have to get out in the heat of the south that was oppressive even most winters. The closer she got to her destination the more her anxiety kicked up. Social environments were not her thing either but she was going to be bold and get the hell out. It was time, because there was not much time left.

As she reached her destination her heart skipped a beat and then pounded in her chest alerting her to the gravity of her decision. “Shut the fuck up and calm down.” She quickly got out of the car, pushed her keys on the loop of her bag and shut the door. The walk to the mall entrance was mentally excruciating. One foot in front of the other. A weak smile to herself. Thoughts of each passerby staring at her enveloped her mind. Her darkness bursa escort rumbled a little at her incompetence.

As she walked through the entrance a gulf of cool air wrapped her body and she leaned into it slightly. That was better. The heat was insufferable. Now what? She held her head high and walked the nearest corridor with feigned confidence. Window shopping was her objective. Just walk by, peer in, act interested. This was so not what she craved.

Then she spotted a store that would save her from her current anxiety. A nail salon. Yes! That would do it. She went in and sat down at a table and waited. In moments a beautiful girl took her hands and asked her what she needed today. Her darkness snickered. “She needs me, but oh well.” She shoved back the insult and told the girl to give her the works and the girl went to work.

She stared out the windows into the mall as the girl worked her hands and fingers and tried to make small talk but she was observing the people. She watched as groups of young people walked by like animated little crews and families both small and large trying to keep up with each other. She watched as a couple excitedly chased a toddler who was having way too much fun running away from them laughing and she laughed too. Little do they know how that time passes so quickly. She sobered at the thought and her darkness grumbled. Shut up.

Her thoughts were on autopilot drifting around in a million different directions until they were interrupted by the smiling girl asking if she was satisfied with the work. She looked down at her now gleaming and longer than usual nails. They were perfect, painted black with silver metallic tips and hints of glitter, then polished to a mirrored shine. Two rhinestone jewels topped off the tip of her right index finger and she smiled up at the girl. Yes, perfect. She didn’t recall even telling the girl what colors she wanted or that she wanted accents but the nails matched her attire and she was pleased. Her darkness smirked. She paid the girl, complete with a large tip. The girl handed her a receipt, a punch card for her next visit and a coupon for a nearby bar and grill.

She left the salon and looked at the coupon. A drink special stared back at her and her darkness peeked at it. The darkness gave her a nudge and pulled at the restraints its reverie disturbed. She pulled out her cellphone and swiped the screen, knowing what she wouldn’t see but hoping anyway. No messages. Apparently the desire was not as deep there as she imagined. The darkness strained against the restraints again to snatch the phone and type in a coy whisper of its own. It was waking up; the darkness. Shit. Just not a good idea.

Her legs took her toward the bar and her mind followed reluctantly. Just a drink or two from the special, right? I mean what could it hurt? Liquid courage. Who knows?

She entered the low lit bar and grill and walked past the smiling hostess to a deep set small booth in the corner of the bar area. A waitress stopped and she pushed the coupon towards her. The waitress smiled and complimented her nails and her outfit. Her darkness stretched and yawned loudly, waking itself and trying to get attention. It was questioning all of the security now and she was glad she had put it in place even though it was complacent at the time.

She ordered a glass of wine, red blend, long pour, and waited for the waitress to come back. She envied the waitress and imagined she probably made good tips. Skinny with ample cleavage and nice hips. She would make beautiful babies one day she mused. Her darkness cringed. Really? Grow down. Not up. Get a clue.

The waitress delivered her order with a grin and placed two large glasses in front of her. Large pours of the deep dark red liquid. She looked up questioningly. The waitress nodded towards the end of the bar that was hidden in shadows. “You’ve been sent a drink, guy at the end of the bar. And he’s pretty hot too.” The waitress made the last statement as if she would be cynical that she would attract a hot guy. Nice. She frowned. Her darkness growled and pulled at its restraints again, this time feeling some slack. Oh no. It’s trying to get loose. She smiled at the waitress and told her to pass along her thanks. The liquid courage was greatly appreciated.

She thought intensely. Courage? Don’t need courage. She needed to get the hell out of here. The darkness grabbed her shoulders and shook her. Oh no. It was out. How did that happen? She needed to push it back in. What if it made a fool of her? Even worse, what if she made a fool of herself? She gulped down the last of the wine and breathed in deeply. Her darkness smirked. She started to get up but the darkness held her firm to her seat.

The waitress strode over and offered her another glass of red self-indulgence. No. Her darkness barked out. Tequila. Shit. Yes, it was out and in rare form. What the hell? Reign it in? The darkness shook its head and wagged a finger of warning. Tequila it is.

The low lights of the bar, the alcohol bursa escort bayan and the white noise of the many screens of sports, news and other various shows invaded her senses and she breathed deeply and exhaled slowly with a shaky breath. She slung her head back against the seat and sighed. So this was how it was going to be? The bar was filling slowly with people from the mall and beyond. People laughing, having a good time in groups, as dates. She sighed.

The waitress walked over again and placed two shot glasses filled to the brim with tequila and slices of lime. She smiled down at her. “The guy at the bar again. Do you know him?”

She stared off into the dark corner. “I can’t even see him. So who knows? But if he’s buying tequila who am I to refuse?” Her darkness jumped with glee and slammed the first shot. The waitress chuckled and left her booth. She bit into the lime and sucked every drop. Her darkness was dancing now as the alcohol heated her blood and warmed her cheeks. She leered. Whatever. Let it take me.

The darkness snarled and grabbed the second shot glass, throwing it back and molesting the lime slice between her teeth. She snapped at the waitress with her fingers and pointed to the empties. The waitress nodded her head and she waited.

Suddenly she heard a voice over her shoulder, hot breath in her ear. “Can I join you? I’d like to buy you another.”

Her darkness grinned and said yes.

He slid into the booth seat across from her and smiled. Yep, he was hot. All dark and smoldering, dangerous even. From the look in his eyes to the dark clothes he was wearing. “So are you having a good night?”

“Well it definitely just got better.” Her darkness answered and she went along.

The waitress arrived with a tray of shots. Four to be exact. And lime to match. She smiled at the dark stranger and said, “As ordered.”

“Thank you.” he replied without taking his eyes off her across from him. It made her a bit nervous but her darkness shook it off and smiled.

“So I take it you’re joining me.” She asked rhetorically.

“That’s what you wanted” he replied.

She had no idea what he was referring to but went with it. Her darkness was bubbling with joy. She tossed back one of the shots as he did and then excused herself to the restroom. Standing in front of the mirror in the ladies’ she glared at herself. Knowing her darkness was glaring back. “What?? You need this. You. Need. Me. Back.” it whispered. She sighed. And let go.

She made her way back to the booth and he was still there. He stood as she approached. He was standing, really? She thought manners like that were gone with the wind. Tossed away like a left swipe. The alcohol spoke. The darkness spoke, she reached high and grabbed him behind the neck and pulled him down to her. Crushing her lips against his, tasting tequila and sweetness. He answered her back fiercely and she moaned into his mouth. One of his hands swept through her hair while the other pulled hard at her lower back pulling against his hardness. She smiled wickedly. That was bold.

She pulled back just as she felt breathless and his hands lingered on her momentarily. She backed away and fell into the booth seat. She closed her eyes slowly. Holy shit. She heard him chuckle across from her and he tossed back another shot. Grinning as he sucked in the lime slice. All she could think was how she wished it were her lips. Or other parts.

He pushed the last shot towards her as the waitress appeared. “Water. And check.” He said, never taking his eyes off her as she downed the last shot and took in the lime. The waitress gave him a total that included hers. “No wait” she started but he stopped her as he handed cash to the waitress and said thank you.

The waitress returned promptly with ice water and he looked at her and said “drink.” Well when the hotness says drink, you drink. As she sipped on the icy liquid, she realized she was actually thirsty and downed it quickly.

He stood by the table and grabbed her hand as he smiled down at her. She stood to her feet and let him lead her past the long bar and down a dark hallway. Her darkness was flipping out with lust. She could just make out a doorway just ahead with a light shining under it.

But before they reached the door he stopped and pressed her against a carpeted wall. He pressed his lips to hers and she smiled. He coaxed her lips apart and his tongue entered her mouth exploring and tasting. Her tongue answered back as his hands began to explore her body. She moaned into his mouth encouraging him. He pressed his body against hers and she could feel his hardness. Her darkness rejoiced and she melted against him.

She reached down and touched him. Massaged her hand up and down over his jeans and against his cock. She felt it jerk in her hands and she smiled. To still have that kind of reaction from a younger man was very hot indeed. Could it really be for her? The darkness snarled and flicked the thought away with its sharpened claws.

As escort bursa if he could read her mind he said “It’s all yours. Let’s see what you can do with it.”

The darkness laughed wickedly “Yes, lets.”

He pulled her to the nearby door and pushed it open. Kissing her and pushing her inside. Her darkness giggled like a schoolgirl. It pulled at the buttons of his shirt and they came away one by one. Not ripping them but rather popping each on from its hold. She pulled away his shirt leaving a strong lean muscular body in front of her. She peered up at him through her lashes and his eyes flashed with desire.

The darkness took over completely. Her vision faded and then quickly corrected as she watched her long fingernails run a slow trail down his chest, following the trail to the buttons on his jeans. Her darkness was eager. She unbuttoned his jeans as a wicked smile passed her lips. She knelt in front of him and pulled the zipper down. With her teeth. Yes, her teeth. She glanced up at him and heard him growl as he watched her. So fucking sexy.

She hesitated as she started to pull his cock loose from its imprisonment. The darkness smacked her and invaded her more. She grasped him and wrapped her hands around him, her nails just slightly digging in. Delighting in the feel of him pulsing and throbbing under her touch. He moaned and began to rock himself in her hand.

She used her free hand to push down at his clothes and worked them down to his thighs. She then grabbed his ass, her nail plunging into his skin. At the same time she squeezed him tighter in her hands and then lowered her lips to his tip.

She took her time tonguing the tip his cock. Massaging his shaft with her hand. She began to suck his dome while running her tongue under the rim. He moaned loudly and voiced his appreciation. This encouraged her so she gripped his ass tighter and pulled him deeper into her mouth. Her tongue still working inside the vacuum she had created for him. He reached down and fisted his fingers in her hair. He pulled himself out and pushed back in. She allowed it.

He pushed himself in so gently, never far enough to cause her discomfort and then pulled himself out slowly to enjoy the pull and her torturing tongue doing its magic. Over and over. The darkness decided to reward him by plunging his cock deep down her throat while squeezing his ass hard, her nails on the precipice of piercing his skin. He growled slowly pulled himself from her mouth, from her lips. And pulled them to meet his forcefully. He explored her mouth deeply, showering her with immense delight. It was her turn to growl.

He lifted his mouth and smiled at her. Then began to torture her senses by kissing her neck and shoulders while one hand traveled down and pushed itself under the waistband of her pants. The button popped open and the zipper lowered as if by magic and he cupped her sex with his hand. His other hand worked at the clasps of the corset and making enough room to slide one hand inside and seized a breast. Able to pull it free, he lowered his head and sucked in a nipple. I became hard immediately as he suckled and nipped. Her darkness grabbed his head and pushed her breast more into mouth.

Suddenly he bit down on her breast and plunged a finger inside her at the same, keeping his thumb against her clit. Exquisite pain and erotic sensations invaded her senses as she bowed her back and moaned. Her breath hitched as he began working his fingers and his thumb between her legs. She felt herself become very wet at his touch and moaned again.

He then took both hands and lifted her by her ass, he pulled he legs around him and grabbed her hair to pull her in to another kiss. She suddenly felt him sit her on something hard and cool. A desk. Her darkness groaned. He smiled.

He slowly laid her back onto the desk that seemed of void of contents and began to peel her pants down. She started to resist, not feeling comfortable with exposing her body. He stopped, straddled her legs and behind, caged her head with his arms and leaned into her face brushing his lips across hers. He moved his mouth over to her ear, his hot breath tantalizing her senses. “You’re fucking beautiful.” he said making her breath hitch in her throat. “I want you. Don’t resist.”

It came more as demand than a plea and her darkness pushed away another boundary. She relaxed, body and soul and let the darkness lead her.

He accepted her submission and crawled his way back down her body. Sliding his hands under the waistband of the jeans and peeling them off, slowly eliciting another groan of pleasure. After tossing the pants aside he wandered back up her body, touching, caressing and kissing every inch of her. He nibbles an earlobe and then traces his tongue down her pulse to her lip, nipping lightly and being rewarded with a soft female growl. Like a lioness who had just been awakened.

He slowly traced the seam of her lips making them part and kissed her softly, stroking her tongue with his slowly and tantalizingly. The darkness swept in and answered him taking the kiss deeper and more frantic; and he let her. She gripped his hair fiercely with one hand and stroked her nails down his back with the other and he groaned into her mouth. The darkness smiled. “See?” she whispered.

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