After their talk on set, Paul was keeping his distance from Trevor unless they were filming together. In front of the camera, they played out the parts of lovers in love and lovers dealing with severe betrayal. It was incredibly cathartic to be able to play out that second part on screen for Trevor. Taking pain that had been so private and using it in something entirely public was healing.
That didn’t stop Paul from making Alex’s job more difficult though. He seemed to take delight in changing what the props should be or deciding that one of the props wasn’t good enough quality for him to use. They were small annoyances mostly, and no one let Paul know he was annoying them, especially not Alex, but it slowed down when Trevor noticed it and gave a particularly venomous look to Paul before walking away.
Trevor still enjoyed spending time with Neal and Keri, but being able to go to the theater to rehearse quickly became the highlight of his entire day. Their first rehearsal was a reading, which included singing along with the piano. From there, they began going scene to scene so they could learn where they should be on the stage and their choreography.
Of course, during breaks on the first day, most of the rest of the cast and crew wanted to get photos and autographs from Trevor, which Alex could tell embarrassed him a lot. Trevor had times where he liked being the center of attention, but around other actors was where the fame seemed uncomfortable for him. He loved meeting fans, so he was gracious about it, but he was quick to move them on to something else here in the theater once he had given them the photos and autographs they asked for.
Alex wasn’t particularly chummy with most of the actors in the theater company because they were so transient most of the time, but he did work closely with the director and other production staff regularly and got along with them well. When he wasn’t entangled with set design and prop repairs, he would sit in the gallery with the director and provide suggestions for subtle changes that were either ergonomic improvements or more in line with the aesthetic the director was looking for. When Alex wasn’t discussing things in his wheelhouse, however, he sat quietly and listened to the gossip the rest of the staff shared around while inspecting each part of each scene for mistakes.
Some of that gossip was about Trevor, especially after he had made the comment publicly about being injured. Most of that gossip was around where the injuries came from. Some said bar fight, others said abusive background, and one person said they swear they remember a news article about a gay bashing. Someone snorted and said something about never hearing of a gay doing any bashing but the joke fell flat.
The set makers were working on building up the set and getting the first things painted that Friday after rehearsal, and Trevor had gotten permission to stay after a little longer so he could ice his knee and ankle before he left. Trevor pulled off the compression gear he kept on his ankle and knee when he was dancing. There were long scars with dots for where the stitches were on both his knee and ankle but they were faded now. The original injuries had some jagged cuts from the bone cutting through his skin, but that was even more faded than the surgery scars were.
Alex was leaving the stage when he spotted Trevor resting on a chair in only some shorts pulling the ice pack away from his knee for a moment to take the sting of the cold away for the on-again-off-again cycle that his physical therapist had recommended. Alex looked sympathetic but not piteous as he took in the scars. “So, are you following me, Mr. Trevor?” he quipped.
Trevor looked up at Alex and smirked. “Nah, I don’t really like going with the stalker vibe to get a guy’s attention. That’s more my ex’s thing. I just liked what I saw of the theater. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not happy to see you working here, though.”
Alex looked pointedly at Trevor’s crotch and asked, “Oh really? How happy are you? And when were you going to tell me your secret identity?”
Trevor gave another smirk at the first question, giving a look that said he was happy to show Alex, but then the smile softened a little at the second question. “I didn’t really think I was keeping it that secret. I just wasn’t sure if you remembered me, or wanted to…”
“It took some not so subtle clues,” Alex admitted, “but I was able to deduce who you were. I had some feelings about you disappearing and such but it’s water under the bridge now.”
Trevor frowned at that, all joking pushed aside now. He knew they would have to get through this conversation before they could move into whatever they would end up being, whether that be friends or more. “Is it really, or should we talk about this? Tell me what you felt, and feel now, about that. We were young, we admitted to being in love with each other, and then, I was suddenly gone…I know my side, Kemer travesti but not yours.”
Alex considered his words before responding. “Honestly, I think the reverse is the issue. I know how I felt but how I feel now depends a lot on what happened and why you never reached out.”
Trevor took a long slow breath in before he motioned to the chair near him, waiting until Alex had taken it to say anything. “Dad found out about you. I don’t even remember how; I think he saw us and then stewed on it for a while. When I came home that night, we fought, and I told him he could kick me out but I wasn’t going to end it with you.”
With that, Trevor let his head fall back as memories flooded his mind, the flashbacks making his whole body ache in remembrance. “I don’t remember much after that. I remember him choking me, and I remember my mom screaming at him to stop. I woke up in a hospital in Ann Arbor. There was a CPS investigation, and I heard them telling my aunt that they tried hard to keep families together. They wanted dad to do parenting classes and anger management, but I knew if I went back, I was dead.
“I called your house before I left, but your dad answered. He told me it was better not to get you involved in my mess. He said I was a bad influence and would destroy you and everything that your future could be. I didn’t even know where I was going, and I couldn’t bring you into it if he was right, so I just hung up the phone. I waited until it was night time, right after they took vitals the night before I was supposed to be released and I took my own IV out and skipped town.
“I went to Detroit. I stole money to start, and then started to…trade favors with adults to survive. Some head for a meal, get fucked for a warm place to sleep, and so on. Sometimes I would find a phone, and call your house just to hear your voice. I was on the streets for about a year to a year and a half before I was arrested with some other prostitutes, and my family was contacted. Luckily Aunt Naomi got to me before my dad did, and she filed an emergency custody order.
“I thought about calling you once I was settled in her home, but then…” Trevor trailed off and looked down at his hands. He knew if he continued, their story may only be that of good friends, but he had to be honest. “Some of those hookups to get money were…less than safe, whether that was because we didn’t use condoms or because they did kink stuff that we shouldn’t have done, like asphyxiation. I’d seen doctors a couple of times, mostly at urgent care to deal with throat injuries or injuries from bondage, but Naomi wanted a full work up once she had custody. When I found out I had HSV-1 herpes genitally, and I was positive for HIV, I was too afraid to call you. So I just…stayed gone. At the time I thought you’d be better off with me dead or gone.”
Alex reached out and grasped Trevor’s hand sympathetically. “I’m so sorry you went through all that. I’m so glad for Naomi’s presence in your life. I would never be better off with you dead. What kept me going after you left was the thought that you were out there, somewhere, living a life you chose.”
“I really only got to do that once Naomi had custody,” Trevor admitted. “It took work, and I had to go for my GED instead of graduating from high school because I was too far behind. Naomi got me into dance lessons again and voice lessons. I was on a great track all through college, and then I got attacked by a footballer with a baseball bat. I will never dance like I used to but at least the replacements got me back to some dancing, you know? I can’t even begin to tell you how glad I was to see you going for your dreams rather than just following what your parents wanted, though.”
Alex shifted on his chair, uncomfortable with the memories, but he felt that he owed Trevor an update. “Yeah, my parents barely spoke to me from the moment we were outed to this day. I sued for emancipation at 16 and kept my grades up so I could get into a decent college on a scholarship. I started off in dance, but realized that being amazing in high school doesn’t always translate into being great once you’ve swam out of your pond into the ocean. I changed my major and kept the dancing extracurricularly.”
Trevor squeezed Alex’s hand, the expression on his face one of remorse. “I’m sorry my father outed you too. It wasn’t fair to you. If he wanted to ruin or kill me, fine, but he should have left you out of it.”
Aex shrugged, saying, “It is what it is, honestly. I was considering coming out anyway so being ‘forced’ out of the closet wasn’t really as catastrophic as I was afraid of. At least my dad wasn’t physically abusive.” Alex gave Trevor’s hand a return squeeze. “But all of that is water under a bridge I don’t even believe is standing any more. Besides being a big Gay Icon and TV star, what have you been up to lately?”
“Mostly a lot of physical therapy and gym time,” Trevor admitted. “Plus Kemer travestileri I sold my condo and am staying with my mom – Aunt Naomi – until I find a new place to live that doesn’t have memories of my last relationship in it. Mom has two other adopted kids she took in from foster care who have become like siblings and I’ve been seeing them regularly, which includes my niece. And I’ve been working on videos for song covers for social media. I sat and learned more instruments while I was laid up with surgery. How about you? Surely someone has seen how amazing you are and grabbed you up by now.”
Alex shrugged self-consciously, “I don’t really date much. A lot of the gay culture here is about hookups and I’m more of a long term relationship type. Besides, I’ve been really busy with work and this. The actors always have a cute one or two in each new pack but they’re all too transient for my taste and they think that working theater will pad their resume so they keep changing troupes to chase the next production instead of sticking it out with this production company.”
“Yeah, I get it. I dated a little in college, but Paul was my first real relationship in a while,” Trevor replied. “I think the older I get, the more I want to just…I don’t know, find some domestic bliss with someone who loves me as much as I love him. My circumstances make dating hard though; actors are known for sleeping around and my status makes a lot of guys run for the hills.”
Alex nodded his understanding, acknowledging that such a thing could definitely limit the dating pool considerably. “If you don’t mind the question, it’s obvious you’ve managed your symptoms, but what is your status right now?” Alex asked, knowing it could be a sensitive subject, but one that needed to be addressed eventually.
“I’ve jumped around meds quite a bit to find the right ones, but at this point I take my meds religiously and my viral levels are non-existent,” Trevor explained. “As for the herpes, I’ve never had another outbreak past the first one. I take antivirals for that though because I do get cold sores sometimes. I up how much I take when they show up, though. My only medication issue is making sure I don’t take too many ibuprofen in a day on set or at the theater, especially when it’s stormy outside and my joints hurt.”
Alex nodded his understanding, still evaluating his personal risk-tolerance but not dismissing the possibilities that popped into his mind. “I’m not on PrEP at the moment, but I appreciate your candor. Where do you think you see things going with the theater after this production?” Alex asked, shifting the direction of the conversation.
Trevor pushed any thoughts about PrEP out of his mind for later, wanting to go with what Alex was comfortable with right then, and he smiled at the question. “I really like this theater, and the group here. I know some stage hands and actors will move on, but I could definitely see myself doing more on stage here. I would love to star in a show on Broadway at some point, but a community theater like this that puts on amazing musicals and plays feels kind of homey and nice.”
Alex nodded, standing and offering a handshake, “Well, Mr. Trevor, this concludes our interview. We’re so glad you came in today. The next step in the hiring process is a careful consideration of your qualifications. Someone will be in touch with you.”
Trevor stood up as well, though he couldn’t do it quite as smoothly or quickly as Alex could, and Alex could tell his knee was bothering him. He took Alex’s hand and shook it. “Thank you, Mr. Alex. I look forward to hearing from you, whether positive or negative. And I am sorry for disappearing. I should have called you.”
Alex smiled and hugged him snugly, pulling away reluctantly after a few moments. “All is forgiven. Or maybe you’ll have to spend the rest of your life making it up to me. We’ll see,” Alex said with a wicked smile as he went back to his office to pick up his laptop and head home with a new spring in his step as if a weight he had been carrying for years had been lifted.
Trevor stretched out his leg a bit, using some of the physical therapy exercises he had been given to help with pain and tightness before he went back to his car and drove home. When he got back to the house, Benji and his mom were both home and he relayed to them that he’d had a conversation with Alex about why he had disappeared and he was glad they could talk about it.
Naomi had watched her nephew/adopted son cry every once in a while for years over losing that relationship, so she knew how important this was, as did Benji and Harper. They had both tried to talk him into calling him years before but knew they couldn’t force him to do anything if he thought it was better for Alex for him to not be around.
“So, are you two going to be official any time soon then?” Benji asked him, making Trevor laugh as he grabbed a drink from the fridge.
“I think Travesti kemer I’m still being interviewed for that particular placement,” Trevor admitted to them. “Honestly, though, even if all he can give me is friendship, it just feels amazing to have him back in my life.”
Benji looked over at their mom, who had a knowing smirk on her face, before he looked back at Trevor. “So, what you’re saying is you’ll take the friendship, but you’re still pretty head over heels for him.”
“Completely,” Trevor agreed without even a little bit of hesitation before he took a swig of his soda.
“Dude, if you don’t say something to the man, I’m gonna get you drunk and make you confess so I can send a video,” Benji joked with his brother. For how quiet and introspective Benji had always seemed since they met, he could be fierce when he was trying to help his family.
Trevor shook his head at that. “I’m on to you, Benji. If you offer me a beer or some liquor, I know what you’re trying to do.”
“Just you wait,” Benji warned lovingly. Trevor stuck his tongue out at him and went to the bathroom to get a hot soak to help his muscles and joints as well as get clean before going to bed.
As they continued filming and rehearsals, Trevor would leave little things for Alex to let him know he was thinking about him. He made a rose out of part of the script one day while watching some of the others film their parts and left that on Alex’s desk without any comment or note, but Alex had seen him making the rose earlier while he worked. He also left a little packet of the doubles of the photos of them together as teens in his office at the theater.
Alex smiled lovingly at each new discovery, secreting away anything left on his desk at the production warehouse lest Paul use it as “evidence” to mistreat them. His office at the theater, however, quickly became as personalized as his Prop Master office was sterile. The photos that Trevor shared quickly found their way to the walls and desk in various sizes and frames and the paper rose sat on a nearby bookshelf inside a clear shadow box with a wooden base, tastefully and elegantly displayed.
It turned out that the process for getting on PrEP was much simpler, if slightly time consuming, than Alex had feared. He hadn’t bothered before because he wasn’t active but the worst part turned out to be getting an appointment with his doctor. He had been getting regularly tested for everything the doctors recommended for gay men, mostly out of habit, but the doctor had to order a round of tests prior to getting authorization for the medication.
On Trevor’s side, he considered going to his doctor to make sure his viral levels were still non-existent as wishful thinking, but he did so anyway. When he came back to go over blood test results, his doctor said his levels looked great and he was happy with how Trevor was doing. He did warn Trevor to be careful with how much he used over-the-counter pain meds though because his kidney levels were up a little and he didn’t want it affecting Trevor long term.
“Try other methods first before taking an ibuprofen for it,” the doctor told him. “Heat, cold, stretches. If it’s sore, we might want to look into getting some injections into those joints to help with pain.”
Trevor agreed that would be a good idea and they got that appointment set up. All of his other test results were good, and the two diseases Trevor had told Alex about were still the only ones he had. He had been tested after he kicked Paul out, but it was never a bad idea to re-test just in case.
Trevor had his shots done on a day that he didn’t have to do too much dancing for either production, where they were focusing on parts of the musical that had the other characters as the main ones. He was sore but sitting in the audience with an ice pack helped while he wasn’t on stage.
That Friday, a bunch of the cast and crew decided they wanted to go out to eat for some team building. Everyone had been having fun rehearsing and talking backstage, but sometimes the two groups socialized separately in the theater and this was a way of mixing everyone up and having fun. Alex usually showed up at these events and sat quietly with the production staff before leaving early and going home to get some planning and ordering done for the next production. This time, however, he found himself socializing more with the talent.
Part of that was because the director had made sure the venue supported better mixing. There were areas of seating but they were smallish pockets amid the rest of the conversation space. The seating areas were also small enough that the entire production staff couldn’t sit together, so they had to split up and engage with the actors. Ultimately, this just made it easier for Trevor and Alex to spend some time talking without the production staff picking up on it.
What Alex didn’t account for was the director’s powers of observation. When Trevor went over to talk to one of his co-stars who played Roger and a couple of the production staff, the director asked Alex, “So, are you and Lars dating?”
Alex nearly choked on his drink. He coughed and sputtered briefly before answering honestly, “No. But don’t ask me in a month.”
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