{Disclaimer: All characters in this piece are eighteen or over}
Hearing Cathy ‘oh my god’ was like dropping a needle on a record. The song that played in my mind made me smile. I couldn’t help but think this was planned, not just the wedding, but everything leading up to it, it made me realize that she’d loved me for a while.
“Oh my god, what a surprise,
Here I am with bottles of wine,
Where’s the man that turned nineteen,
Tonight he shares my bed with me!”
Doesn’t matter how good you think you’ve hidden something, some grins do not go unnoticed. “Wanna share that glee club grin?” Me and sob had actually been in a glee club, the first day was hell, I think it took around thirty seconds before we faked extreme stomach ailments. In the next class, we came armed, with raw lemons. Wanna shut a singer down? Eat a lemon in front of them. That got us kicked out… some plans work.
“It’s a song, and maybe I’ll share. Go suck a lemon, and I might shut up before I start though.”
He just grinned.
“Good, you kind’a sing like a steel cat getting a wire brush pet.” Where he came up with that one who knows, but it not only had all of us laughing, it, unfortunately, (think sing me a lullaby) stuck with me for life.
BEDDLE BEEDLE.
“Man, now who the fuck is calling you two?” It had completely escaped me I had my own phone on me, so, (rightfully so) the obligatory, ‘dumb ass’ look was given to me. Wasn’t a call, but a text from Cathy, ‘Please call when you’re very alone’. I got ice water in me, she’s bailing was the only thought. “I gotta go, be right back.” Sob and Pop were upset they weren’t let in, but this was mine.
When I called there was no hesitation, I just asked outright. “Are you getting cold feet? Do you want to stop this?” There was a tinge of silence before she broke into giggles.
“I can not believe you said cold feet! No, I’m not wanting out, I was wondering if YOU wanted out! Last chance you know.” Giggles like I’d never heard.
“I’m glad that’s funny, but NO. I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out if it’s been years or days. Your little sing-song, wash the stockings, bubble gum lolly-pops, the mall… the red lingerie. Shall I go on? Why the fuck does this wedding feel like a twenty-year wait?!?
Cathy’s voice took on softness and tone I’d only hear twice more. “Lover, go have a drink with your groomsmen, then put your skates on, I’ve learned how. I can’t believe you said cold feet. Oh, and Kravits was the first thing that came to mind. BYE!!”
“What? Kravits? Skates?” CLICK. (Yes. Again.) “Who the fuck is Kravits? Cold feet? Oh man, we’re getting hitched on the rink.”
Almost as if she’d screamed, ‘IT’S A GO!’ the rink lights came on. Popoff had a table set up with three exceedingly high-quality sifters any upscale gentleman’s club would have gladly owned. Was only fitting considering the brandy he was pouring was aged more than all of us combined. I keep wishing someone would have been there to capture the sight of us at that table.
Skate guards on, feet perched on the edge, using the bent nail through a cut-off stick handle tool to tighten laces. (I May have got away without a pink tux, but my skate blades were now coated in paint.) “Gold. Yeah. I’ll take that.” The laces tight I leaned back and posed a two-part question.
“Who wants to take bets I fall flat on my face stepping on the ice? I’ve never drank brandy before. Pointers?”
Popoff got a huge smile. “Roll it in the glass, keep it warm, and sip. You have seen the movies right?” A small chunk of me wanted to retort some kind of no-shit comment, instead, the scent of the liquid hit me, when I looked the color was unreal. Brown, red, gold, little crests of silver when the light caught a swirl. I got very calm and displaced.
The garage disappeared. In fact, everything vanished. Instead, I saw my two friends, expensive cigars, and oil lamps. Dark, rich wood, and leather chairs big enough for Saint Nick and all his elves to rest in… all of us looking decidedly older, gray hair, beards, swishing that brandy. It felt like a foreboding and made me realize that we three as a pack? That was about to change. Forever.
“Were never going to be the same again are, we? I mean, no more two A.M, ‘dude it’s pizza time’. Or, ‘I need to yap, up for the graveyard?’ That’s going to take a back seat.” I felt like I’d just told my friends to fuck off. Popoff shook his head, resting the elbow with the glass at the end of it on the table.
“Gulp now.”
Cost or not, those drinks? They went down. He filled our glasses to a respectful level and continued. “The way I see it, the only thing that’s going to change is Cathy will be coming along. And that is not a bad thing. Misty hangs with us always, your Cathy is easily as cool. Cliche’ maybe, but we’re gaining a friend, not losing one.” Sob raised his glass then, and sent us all over the top desperately trying to clink his glass while cracking up.
“Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. You wait till I get my mersin escort sex doll from Japan,
couldn’t afford the pussy heater, then we’ll see who’s got the cool girlfriend!!”
(If you ever get friends, hell, one friend like this. Don’t ever let that go. Years add up, eyesight and cognitively goes, ‘Man I ate a dog biscuit, could have sworn it was a cookie’. If you got a good one, the conversation will erupt in laughter, and last for hours.)
We got a tri-beddle almost as soon as the glass tinged, wedding bells when we answered, I smiled and took out grandpa’s watch. The time was important to me, but somehow, checking the time as you say ‘I do’ didn’t seem right. “Game on men. Can’t think of a better lineup for this cup.” Before we headed out the door to the rink I added. “Thanks, guys.” Smiles and nods returned the sentence.
————
I don’t know how they did it, and to be truthful, a little bit of worry about what would happen when practice started the day after tomorrow crept in. But somehow the ice was a blue, white glitter.
Mom, Mary, and misty were all dressed in ice-skater outfits… of sorts. Soft blue, off the shoulder, silk sleeves joined up to a silvery, thick, intricate lace bodice. The effect was very much like how a fog obscures the obvious. The skirts were a form-fitting deep blue that came just above the knee. All of it trimmed in white fur, even their skate tops. They all wore the same French braid, with tendrils framing faces. Elsa would have been pissed.
Bonnie was dressed very differently.
Her pinstripe business suit, (most assuredly not designed for office settings), used the lights of the rink to turn whatever was a pinstripe, either opaque or translucent. Bonnie didn’t need a bra, and it would seem panties either, that just made the whole outfit a peep show. Her long red hair was done up in a bun, and I honestly do not know how she got it all up into one without looking like Marge Simpson.
Reds attire was a girlfriend test to see if my eyes would wander. That felt good to know she cared about Cathy that much. When sob said, “Referees and legalities never looked that hot.” It struck me that Bonnie’s pinstripes and suit added up to both. Ref stripes in a Justice of the Peace uniform. Yeah, Bonnie was a lot of things, including that.
Still that word, ‘legalities’ made a whole lot of worry I didn’t need right now appear in my head.
Not legal.
Age difference.
Lust or love?
Right or wrong?
Doubt never sat well with me when something needed to be done. So I did what I always did whenever a game of importance had me standing at the gate. Dug a blade in, notched a chunk out of the lower right-hand side, and pushed off into the unknown.
“You two coming?” Skates scratched the ice behind me as I made a beeline to the Official, not peeking once. “So? Do I pass?” Her eyes got a bit wide, and she gave me a small smile and a wink. We become closer friends for it. “Nice try red.” She also got a kiss on the cheek. Then I skated off.
The bridesmaids stood off to the left hand of the face-off circle, my groomsmen to the right, Bonnie had taken the top half. I was inner right.
Cathy wasn’t new to me. I’d seen her a million times. In visions. Alone at night. Riding in my car. Hanging with my friends. She’d played in reality’s no mind of mine could have made up. So when she came out from the end gates, I wasn’t sure who I was seeing.
There was no fur anywhere. Her entire dress was a fine stitched, closely knit lace. It was tight fitting where it should be and flowed behind her, almost life-like. With every movement, her dress danced in a fanfare of spectral vividness, she was radiant and seemed to glow. Somehow it showed everything and nothing at once. I’d never understood the fascination with queens till that day.
When the music started, it was clear that she had indeed learned how to skate; gracefully too. When the rink lights flickered, she shrugged. Then the music faltered horribly, it didn’t phase her in the least, she just grinned and started the most ungraceful skate you can imagine. If the music went fast, she went fast, slowed down? So did she. When it warbled? She did the same.
Before she got to me everything got back in sync, and she glided in, (with a slight, skate-induced snow shower to me) just fine. She gave a wink and a giggle. “I swear that was not the music practice was done to.”
That made me smile. “Wouldn’t know it. You matched it speed for speed. Ever thought about a hockey career?”
That wicked smirk appeared on her face “Why? need your,” She tapped the back of her head a few times. “To be repeatedly slammed into a board?” The combination of ‘head’ and then ‘board’ left little doubt about what she was referring to. Bonnie chimed in just then. She was about to start things when the rink lights flickered, went off, then came back on; she grimaced.
“Personally I don’t think this rink could handle your slamming. Think you merter escort can save it for the honeymoon? Or at least till we’re not looking?” That got some laughs, except from mom, she was looking skyward. When her eyes met mine I looked up and swore. When you live needing to know what the weather is going to do, even at night you can see, smell, and sometimes taste it. There was a very bad storm coming.
Old man winter must have been in a cranky mood. Just then he sent a gale force, short wind that came close to knocking us all over; Misty ain’t huge so she did topple. Moreover, though, a light came crashing out of one of the trees, that gust of wind should have sent people into a panic, which would have been just what we needed to get the vows started. It didn’t
Bonnie didn’t think much when I took hold of Cathy’s hands, then asked, “Can we just skip the niceties, and get on to the ‘I Do’ part?” I can’t blame the grumbles or disappointed sighs I heard. They had all worked so hard to make this perfect, so what I was asking must have seemed a straight-up punch to the face. But that storm had me worried.
“You got them rings handy babe?”
Never having said anything about what kind of ring she wanted, that left me wide open to design a ring, yeah there’s more to me than just shooting pucks… and wads, (saw it coming, beat ya’ to it) I’d found out about those rhinestones. When Cathy’s ring came out, her face went into a knowing and shocked expression.
—–
Two friends that haven’t been mentioned come into play here. One was a shop teacher who taught me how to solder. I picked up how fast it melted, then got hard again lick fast. That made me wonder what other ‘metal’ did the same. The other was a rock collector, more of a hidden gemstone gatherer in reality.
Between the two of them, I learned about the melting points of different metals, and exactly how a chuck away rock may wield a myriad of refulgent flecks. That knowledge gave me the ability to fashion Cathy’s ring. I should put in a word here on the size of those stones from my Aunt’s stockings. They were about the size of the plastic head on a sewing pin, maybe a bit bigger. Not huge, but all the glimmer of a single star on a clear night.
Cathy’s ring, by wedding ring standards, was a tad wide. The outer edges were gold, the middle made of, emerald, ruby, sapphire, and topaz flakes. (I can’t stress that enough… flakes) All were embedded in crystal clear resin. On the center of the band, in a tri-layer daisy pattern, sat the stones from Cathy’s stockings.
Diamonds. Honest to god real diamonds.
When my rock friend told me the reality, Besides stunning me, it posed a problem. Since I didn’t wear a lot of jewelry, and when I did, it tended to be mostly silver and gem free. He had a lot of questions about how, and where, these stones came from. What was I supposed to say? Couldn’t very well tell the truth, so I Lied, sort of. “Remember when me and dad did all the septic tank cleaning after the flood?”
“Oh, hell yeah.”
“I kept a lot of what we found. One was a bracelet, when I washed it, they all fell off.” (I did say sort of lied.) “So. kept them, must be part raven.” He laughed.
“Good find bird. Find any others drop-em’ off my way huh?”
“You got it man, Thanks!”
Bonnie interrupted when I went to slide the ring on my wife-to-be’s finger. “Mind if I ask if you two actually do, want to do, the I do part?”
From behind me, a confused Popoff said (loudly), “What did she say?!”
Sob answered, “I think we’re finally gonna finally get the varb.. vervally, the do… ahh hell man it’s to do or to do not do time.” That flustered Popoff even more.
“Now what the HELL did YOU just say?!”
A Popoff and a sob were looking at each other half corked. That banter mixed with those look’s beat the garage pic I’d wanted by miles. From this day forward those two friends of mine would be known as ‘The brandy’s’. Amusing as the sight was, Bonnie’s voice brought my attention back quickly.
“OH MY GOD KAT! REALLY??”
Looking back to Cathy I was greeted by an alabaster-hued face, (let’s throw facial expressions of, ‘oh shit, oops, and sorry’ in on that also.) Bonnie, on the other hand, was on the verge of exasperation and just glaring at my aunt. Obviously, I’d missed something.
“Sorry, I’ve, had a few things on my mind!”
“And telling your husband, that changing your last name wasn’t one of them?”
That perked my ears. “SAY WHAT?!?!”
Cathy and my mom both do this well. One sheepish, wide-eyed grin and, all’s forgiven. “Well, I figured it would be a lot easier on us if our marriage license didn’t have the same surnames. Could be useful in certain situations.” What situations she had in mind I didn’t ask. Couldn’t argue with the logic though, was something that hadn’t ever crossed my mind.
“That’s good thinking dear.” Cathy did something I hadn’t seen in years, she wiggled her nose just like Samantha merzifon escort from Bewitched. It clicked, Kravits. “Oh lord. You’re going to be spending our lives peeping through curtains, seeing as you do like to watch right?” Cathy may have been a vision, but she wasn’t above flipping me off, wedding or not.
That set us off on a playground mentality game of one-up-manship. Unfortunately being geared as it was, we just didn’t go as far as childish bantering but ended up sticking tongues out at each other.
That was a deal breaker for the J.P. Between the bizarre tempo of the music, a small gale, crashing and flickering lights, me asking to skip ahead, the sob-Popoff show, and the bride versus groom kiddy hour, Bonnie finally lost it. She’d had it and practically screamed at us both, one at a time.
“Hey, dude? See the chick? Wanna marry her? The correct answer is, ‘I do’… SAY IT!”
I did.
“GOOD! Hey peeper girl? See the hunk? Want to marry him? Do you know the CORRECT ANSWER?!”
She did.
“Then with the power vested in me, you two are FINALLY Married. NOW KISS!”
Yeah, it wasn’t exactly the royal wedding, even if Cathy did look like a queen wrapped up in a princess, but that kiss fused all the wackiness into a beautiful moment. Enough to get the girls crying, and the brandy boys nervous about who’s next. Sob made the mistake of looking to Bonnie who gave him a ‘dream on’ look, and I swear he gave a sigh of relief.
Cathy was in my arms though. Cathy, my wife. That’s all I cared about.
“Did we just melt into each other?”
That garnered another kiss, not as long, but just as consuming.
Giggle.
“No hubby, I think we’re kind of a paraphrased, intense version of ‘stick to me, stick to you’, nothing melted, we just congealed. We became one.” The glint in my eye, got me one back, my wife lushed her voice, “Oh yeah lover, we got a lot different way to be-cum one Mr. headboard, you up for it?”
We all heard the noise before the wind hit. Our pump windmill had taken a dive about a mile away. Mom wasn’t about to do anything but what she always did: Herd the needed-to-be’s, set the workers out, then batten the hatches. This time was a tad different. Her herd was all in satin and lace, the workers in tuxedos, all in skates.
By the time we guys had our skates off, mom was at the door with raincoats and boots. “Rink generator off, back up on. Then tie down what you can WHILE it’s safe. Understood?” Like there was an argument. Sob summed it up, “Dude your mom is totally hot, but damn the women in your family like to yell.”
“Leave your fantasy out of it sob, besides, they come pre-heated buddy.” All three of us got a bad whiff of electricity before everything went dark. House, rink, yard lights. “Shit!”
“Now what dude?”
“Headlamps in the pouches. That’s all we got, let’s go.”
That storm was bad, luckily it skirted, well hemmed us. We didn’t get by unscathed though, it sleeted nails, blew like a pissed-off hurricane, and toppled anything we couldn’t get tied down. We had no choice but to leave before it was over. Boots full of sweat, our tuxedos drenched, we got back to the house fully sapped.
Inside still had no electric light, the backup was essentials only. A fireplace and some kerosene lanterns, (we had L.E.D one’s mom saved for when we were going to sleep) lit up the living room and kitchen in a comfy, soft light. Pop and sob headed off to get changed. “Are you ok?” It was Cathy brandishing an extremely sharp-looking knife.
Pointing at the blade I asked, “I don’t know. Am I?”
She looked at the cake on the table, putting her arms around my neck. “It would seem some people back there want to see us mash things in our faces.” That look came back and she grabbed my crotch. “Got anything you wanna mash in my fa…” Took all of two seconds for me to get hard. “Guess you do huh?”
Her wedding dress was gone, she’d changed into sweats and a sweater.
The wind outside may have whipped, but the speed she undid my zipper and thrust my hand down to her pussy? No stopwatch or Mach meter could have clocked that “Damn it woman you’re soaked.”
She moaned.
“Listen to me. They are all going to give us time alone for a few, you rub my clit and make me cum.” She started to stroke. “I need your cum, I need to cum, I need you anyway I can get you. Understand?” My answer was to pinch her button between my thumb and forefinger in a massage.
“Like this?”
Her own thumb went into action rubbing over the eye of my cock, wasn’t long before she had enough pre-cum to start a slippery stroke. “Keep playing that clit lover.” She moaned this time, a moan I knew. “Baby I’m going to…”
She didn’t finish her sentence, I didn’t have time to voice mine. We both ended up huddled together in a quivering, breathless hug. “If you two have had enough alone time we have a cake to cut and eat.” Cathy brought her cum covered hand to her lips, and while licking, voiced over her shoulder, “We better, this icing is getting really warm and sticky.”
My own fingers went to my mouth. “Agreed!” Mom swore and we were besieged with guests. Not much to say about the cake cutting, except, I think me and the wife learned something from the lack of maturity during the ceremony. There was no cake face mash.
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