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I was always secretly fascinated with men. I am a man, so you could say there should be no surprises to be had, but of course everyone is different. We all have a penis and testicles. We all masturbate, and when we do, we produce something that goes by the glorious colloquial name of spunk. Technically semen. But spunk is dirtier. Naughtier. Semen is for impregnating women. Spunk is for fun.
My sheltered lifestyle lasted until I was 18. Then one morning I went to get my friend Trevor to see if he wanted to play football. I knocked on the door of their little cottage down the road but no one answered. I knew they left the back door unlocked, so I went round and sure enough, it opened obligingly.
I called “Hello?” but got no response. I walked into the sitting room and there was Trevor’s father, naked from the waist down, sitting on the settee. He was masturbating, had his cock in his hand and, once he saw it was me, he just carried on.
“What’s the matter?” he said, trying to laugh ironically. “You never seen anybody wanking off before?”
I was frozen to the spot. He was a big man, powerfully built and slightly gone to seed, so he had a big belly and thighs. His legs were hairy and white.
I gulped.
“It’s all right,” he said. “Just doing what comes naturally. We all do it. Even you. You do, don’t you,” he insisted.
I nodded almost imperceptibly. I was torn between the idea of turning round to leave hurriedly and staying to see what would happen. What did I want to happen? I didn’t know, but I found myself being drawn to that option. Whatever it was would be homosexual in nature. It already was.
I was paralysed with what I didn’t know at the time was lust. I was waiting for something to happen. I had no specific thoughts in my head.
Now that I know myself better, I see this was the first sign of my submissiveness. I was waiting for Trevor’s dad to draw me into something dirty.
He stood up and made sure I could see his cock in his hand. I froze, and that just seemed to give him confidence. I had never thought of him as potentially gay before. I had never thought anybody I actually knew might be that way inclined. It was other people who did that topkapı escort sort of thing. In my immediate world there wasn’t much sex going on at all, it seemed to me. And certainly not such deviant stuff as men doing things with men.
There were one or two sad old guys in the menswear shops in Town who seemed to get a kick out of serving the teenagers, but they weren’t remotely attractive to me.
Even the one who had sold me a pair of clinging beach shorts that were slightly too long and who had told me he could have them altered, and slid his hand up the leg while getting the length right. He had extended his fingers on the pretext of folding the fabric inside, and when he did so, his fingertips touched my balls and time stood still for a terrifying second. But I hadn’t fantasised about it afterwards.
Now, though, Trevor’s dad was silently inviting me to look at his erect cock.
And then suddenly he changed tack, pulled his trousers up and offered me a cup of tea.
“Go on,” he said. “Trev’s going to be an hour or more.”
“Okay,” I said very quietly. The man might have been fully clothed now but my head was still swimming with what I thought then was shock but I know now was lust: pure, automatic, instinctive, unwanted lust. I didn’t need this complication in my life. But at the same time, if he made some kind of move on me I was liable to go along with it – reluctantly in a sense, but also willingly in my helpless way.
I had no vision of what might actually happen. All I knew was I was being possessed by some urge to be drawn into a murky world of depravity.
Trevor’s dad went to the back door and locked it and I knew my number was up. He took me by the hand and led me into a bedroom. The bed was unmade and clothes belonging to him and his wife were strewn around. Underwear on a chair. A bra. A pair of skimpy white knickers. And next to them a pair of his Y-fronts. Yesterday’s underpants, in which he had sweated and leaked and shed pubic hair and his arse had rubbed against the fabric.
My heart was pounding.
“You’re an athlete, I hear,” he said, trying to sound calm even as he got his strategy going. “Javelin and şişli escort discus, isn’t it? Want to show me your muscles? Go on, take your shirt off.”
He stepped towards me.
As I write this, in the current climate that demonises seduction, I almost feel like I’m doing wrong. But what followed did me no harm and it goes on all the time, all over the world. Assuming age is not an issue, it’s only when the seducee really doesn’t want it that it’s wrong. Other than that it’s just people posing questions and other people saying yes or no.
Trevor’s dad pulled my shirt out of my trousers and up to my head, where I took over and removed it completely.
He touched my muscular arms and stroked my chest with a masculine expression of approval. He showed no sign of wanting to kiss me or wrap his arms around me. He was an ordinary working man, a lorry driver, a man’s man, not an androgynous member of the showbusiness world or anything as “progressive” as that.
He had one thing on his mind – well, two. Getting me to suck him and then bend over.
His trousers hit the floor with an alarming clunk and he pulled his cock out. It was at half mast but stiffening rapidly, as I couldn’t help noticing. My eyes flicked down to it even as I avoided his glance.
“You’re going to suck my cock, you know that, don’t you?” he said firmly. “Just kneel down and do it.”
I wasn’t wild about the kneeling bit, because that seemed too submissive, but I did it immediately because, although I didn’t know it at the time, submitting to his desires was part of the thrill.
This was in the days before the internet and therefore pornography was men fucking women in magazines that cost money that I didn’t have, so almost everything was in my imagination and instinct.
I slid his foreskin back and forth as I did with my own and I took his cock in my mouth. I had no idea what I was doing but he showed me, moving my head up and down and saying “Yes, that’s right.”
Then he pulled me back to a standing position and unzipped my jeans. He pushed them as far down as they would go and slid my tight underpants down too.
“On the bed,” he said calmly but firmly. bayrampaşa escort He hadn’t asked me to get completely undressed but I did anyway. I sat on the bed and waited as he went to a drawer and took out a jar of Vaseline, which he brought over to the bed, his erection swaying nonchalantly.
“On your knees,” he said brusquely, and I turned and knelt with my arsehole shy and almost quivering. He took a big fingerful of grease and spread it into my crack, then forced his finger into me
It stung a bit and felt weird. Then he put a second finger in me and alarm bells rang, but as he pushed in and pulled out a few times a strange feeling of wanting came over me.
Then I felt him getting into position and suddenly I had a visitor, a fat, smooth cockhead at my door.
“Relax,” he said quietly. “Don’t fight it. Let it in.”
I relaxed as best I could and felt it stretching me. Just as I was panicking about it being impossible, the head was through the obstacles and he was inside me. A man was behind me and he had inserted his erect cock into my arse.
He plowed steadily in and out and thrills shot through my body. This actually felt right physically even if my mind still said it was wrong.
He was deep inside me, giving me sensations I had never even imagined, let alone experienced.
Trevor’s dad was grunting to himself happily. Had he planned this? Couldn’t have. Had he daydreamed about it – not necessarily buggering me but doing one of his son’s friends? From the sense of satisfaction he was radiating, I felt he probably had been hoping, at least. And in retrospect, he was so calm that maybe he had had one of us before.
But I wasn’t thinking about that at the time. I was enjoying the feeling more and more, growing in confidence and happy that I could handle the situation. His cock felt strong, even heavy somehow as it asserted its right to be in my arsehole. And then he was getting excited.
“I’m gonna cum,” he muttered. “I’m gonna cum up your arse.”
And with that Trevor’s dad unloaded his spunk into me, and after he had finished moaning and groaning and squeezing his stuff out, his cock slipped out of me and I felt that incredible slippery stuff running out and sliding down my legs.
He gave me his underpants to wipe up with and a few minutes later I walked quickly out of the house.
Half an hour later Trevor knocked on the door of my house.
“All right?” he asked cheerfully “My dad said you wanted to play footer.”
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